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lameborghini:

beyoncyay:

lameborghini:

does anyone else subconsciously give letters and numbers a gender like 4 is such a feminine number while 9 is definitely masculine am i right and then m is a girl of course while j is a boy you get me

you might have ordinal linguistic personification

mmm sounds like a fancy linguini pasta

(via splders)

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jakeenglish:

eytancragg:

jakeenglish:

the best part of an oreo is the black cookie part and not the frosting part

deal with it

darkness without light is an abyss

light without darkness is blinding

you cannot have a coin with one side.

yo socrates it’s a fucking cookie

(Source: lalna, via splders)

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sorcery-inthetardis:

bblackbirdd:

I brought my little brother Spencer as my date and when I told him I was nominated for this [Hot & Funny] award, he told me that if under any circumstances I won, I had to say the following things.  

being related to a celebrity: YOU’RE DOING IT RIGHT

OMG WHEN HE LOOKS AT THE CAMERA AT THE END I JUST

(via splders)

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illumahottie:

Hey guys, hope your skin is clear and you get a text from someone you like real soon.

(via pizza)

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narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via jimdoesntcarrey)

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helioscentrifuge:

h0tpat00tie:

Is this how lesbian sex works

TRANSFORM AND LEZ OUT

(Source: lolgifs.net, via troyesivan)

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peanutbutterandsquats:

lilyredneck:

dut-dut-goose:

queenofferrets:

juzanotherblog:

new bra from victoria secret! :) 

A woman stands in her bedroom. She is with her attractive male lover. The air is filled with desire. They both look into each other’s eyes. The female, with a slightly bashful smile, takes off her clothes, starting with the pants first, and finally the shirt. She is wearing the bra. The man’s eyes opened wider in interest. His interest is peaked. The woman strutted closer to him, her eyes batting and her smile growing. She leans into his ear and with a breathy voice, she spoke:“Lettuce fuck.” 

I graduate in three days, I pay my own bills, I have a car, and I’m reading fanfiction about a lettuce bra.

It has a little lettuce bow.

I’ve been laughing for 7 minutes oh my god

peanutbutterandsquats:

lilyredneck:

dut-dut-goose:

queenofferrets:

juzanotherblog:

new bra from victoria secret! :) 

A woman stands in her bedroom. She is with her attractive male lover. The air is filled with desire. They both look into each other’s eyes. The female, with a slightly bashful smile, takes off her clothes, starting with the pants first, and finally the shirt. She is wearing the bra. The man’s eyes opened wider in interest. His interest is peaked. The woman strutted closer to him, her eyes batting and her smile growing. She leans into his ear and with a breathy voice, she spoke:

“Lettuce fuck.” 

I graduate in three days, I pay my own bills, I have a car, and I’m reading fanfiction about a lettuce bra.

It has a little lettuce bow.

I’ve been laughing for 7 minutes oh my god

(Source: justinbiebergoth, via pizza)

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thepetiteteacup:

who is careless enough to leave their BABY IN THE SUN

thepetiteteacup:

who is careless enough to leave their BABY IN THE SUN

(via splders)

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brianabuenviaje:


ladybulletsordie:

warriorinthemaking:

when it turns from winter to spring

when bae comes over

when you can backflip and take your pants off simultaneously

brianabuenviaje:

ladybulletsordie:

warriorinthemaking:

when it turns from winter to spring

when bae comes over

when you can backflip and take your pants off simultaneously

(via splders)

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dstod:

i asked my dad if this picture summed up parenting and he nodded 

dstod:

i asked my dad if this picture summed up parenting and he nodded 

(Source: derplodge, via splders)